tarantulatrash

Cage

Posted in art, culture, life, lomo, lomography, philosophy, photography, Uncategorized, venting, writing by tarantulatrash on April 4, 2010

Study sciences. Study specialist math. Study languages. Dux your highschool. Get into a course that requires a 96. Get high enough grades to be accepted into the academic society. Don’t do drugs. Don’t smoke. Don’t have sex. Graduate. Get a good job. Mingle. Don’t get tattoos in places that show. Smile at patronising people. Go to clubs. Wear colours. Eat 3 meals. Take out your piercings. Don’t waste your time on things people don’t understand. Date guys who don’t waste their time on art and music or smoke or look weird. Work full time. Hide your dreams because they are ridiculous and make people look at you with disappointment and confusion. Become a grade 2, a grade 3. Do a masters. Do a PhD. Open a clinic. Get married to someone with a successful career who doesn’t waste their time on art or music or smoke or look weird. Have children. Own a house. Get an investment property. Go to SE Asia for holidays. Read Twilight. Read Harry Potter. Read the Bible. Watch current affairs shows about neighbours from hell. Listen to Fox. Listen to NOVA. Believe in God. Don’t get angry. Don’t criticise. Be organised. Be tolerant.  Be a success. Choose reason over love.

Be what you SHOULD be.

I just re-read this, and realised it’s sort of like the opening to “trainspotting”. It’s not. It’s my frustration. I hate society, and its expectations. I want to escape.

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Where is Dick? Dick is Rick.

Posted in culture, humour, life, literature, Uncategorized, venting, writing by tarantulatrash on March 31, 2010

Today I bought my little sister her own copies of the “The Faraway Tree” series by Enid Blyton. Tonight, we sat down and she read me the first two chapters. I WAS SHOCKED AND APPALLED.

Not at my sister’s reading ability, or the actual story, but the names of the characters have been changed!!! MY BELOVED DICK AND FANNY NO LONGER EXIST!!!!

These are changes I am aware of-

  • “Dick” has now been replaced with “Rick”  (Due to the obvious slang association).
  • “Fanny” is now “Frannie”. Dear God. We all know why this is.
  • “Jo” is now “Joe”- because apparently Jo is a girl’s name now.
  • “Bessie” is now “Beth”. That is just pointless.
  • “Dame Slap” – who used to use corporal punishment on naughty children is now “Dame Snap”, and she simply yells at people. I’m guessing this was to avoid promoting corporal punishment.
  • Instead of saying things like “Good gracious!” , “I say!” and “Why, it’s simply ENORMOUS!” Joe now just says “Wow” a lot. That makes me want to kill myself.
  • Mother packs the children doughnuts in the new version. In the old version, they got sandwiches, chocolate cake and apples, and it’s quite likely that doughnuts didn’t even exist.
  • Instead of looking “fine” dressed as a clown, Fanny (Frannie) now looks “the real thing.” SPEW

This is political correctness gone mad. The book has lost so much of its charm, and I’m sure Enid Blyton would be rolling in her grave. I’m sure there are other changes, if you know of any, please let me know so I can add them.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH