tarantulatrash

Where is Dick? Dick is Rick.

Posted in culture, humour, life, literature, Uncategorized, venting, writing by tarantulatrash on March 31, 2010

Today I bought my little sister her own copies of the “The Faraway Tree” series by Enid Blyton. Tonight, we sat down and she read me the first two chapters. I WAS SHOCKED AND APPALLED.

Not at my sister’s reading ability, or the actual story, but the names of the characters have been changed!!! MY BELOVED DICK AND FANNY NO LONGER EXIST!!!!

These are changes I am aware of-

  • “Dick” has now been replaced with “Rick”  (Due to the obvious slang association).
  • “Fanny” is now “Frannie”. Dear God. We all know why this is.
  • “Jo” is now “Joe”- because apparently Jo is a girl’s name now.
  • “Bessie” is now “Beth”. That is just pointless.
  • “Dame Slap” – who used to use corporal punishment on naughty children is now “Dame Snap”, and she simply yells at people. I’m guessing this was to avoid promoting corporal punishment.
  • Instead of saying things like “Good gracious!” , “I say!” and “Why, it’s simply ENORMOUS!” Joe now just says “Wow” a lot. That makes me want to kill myself.
  • Mother packs the children doughnuts in the new version. In the old version, they got sandwiches, chocolate cake and apples, and it’s quite likely that doughnuts didn’t even exist.
  • Instead of looking “fine” dressed as a clown, Fanny (Frannie) now looks “the real thing.” SPEW

This is political correctness gone mad. The book has lost so much of its charm, and I’m sure Enid Blyton would be rolling in her grave. I’m sure there are other changes, if you know of any, please let me know so I can add them.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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