tarantulatrash

Oh hallo, Mr ghost.

Posted in art, culture, film, life, lomo, lomography, photography, venting, writing by tarantulatrash on June 10, 2010

True ghost. I swear. Just floatin’ around in the house. Smenaaaaa.

I am horrendously irritable. It’s lasted a week. I’m hoping it goes away soon. Tonight I’m getting my hair done, which may help. It’s a month until my exhibition and I’m sooooo disorganised. I want so many things I can’t afford. I have 5 kilos too many on me at any given time. I’m sick of rude people. I’m sick of people talking mindless shit. I can’t tolerate it. I am a cynical semi-hermit.

I’m also going through a massive “I have no talent whatsoever” phase, which depresses me and makes me entirely unmotivated, and makes me feel like anyone could pick up a camera and take photos of similar or better quality and character.

BUT.  I don’t do this to impress people. I like the photos I take. No one else can take photos like I can, because they reflect me. They’re different, imperfect, and I have complete ownership over every one of them. (I have to keep telling myself that)

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Negative scanners.

Posted in art, art melbourne, culture, lomo, lomography, melbourne, photography, Uncategorized by tarantulatrash on May 17, 2010

I just bought a negative scanner.

Print.

Scanned Negative

Print

Scanned Negative

I am not particularly happy.

Where is Dick? Dick is Rick.

Posted in culture, humour, life, literature, Uncategorized, venting, writing by tarantulatrash on March 31, 2010

Today I bought my little sister her own copies of the “The Faraway Tree” series by Enid Blyton. Tonight, we sat down and she read me the first two chapters. I WAS SHOCKED AND APPALLED.

Not at my sister’s reading ability, or the actual story, but the names of the characters have been changed!!! MY BELOVED DICK AND FANNY NO LONGER EXIST!!!!

These are changes I am aware of-

  • “Dick” has now been replaced with “Rick”  (Due to the obvious slang association).
  • “Fanny” is now “Frannie”. Dear God. We all know why this is.
  • “Jo” is now “Joe”- because apparently Jo is a girl’s name now.
  • “Bessie” is now “Beth”. That is just pointless.
  • “Dame Slap” – who used to use corporal punishment on naughty children is now “Dame Snap”, and she simply yells at people. I’m guessing this was to avoid promoting corporal punishment.
  • Instead of saying things like “Good gracious!” , “I say!” and “Why, it’s simply ENORMOUS!” Joe now just says “Wow” a lot. That makes me want to kill myself.
  • Mother packs the children doughnuts in the new version. In the old version, they got sandwiches, chocolate cake and apples, and it’s quite likely that doughnuts didn’t even exist.
  • Instead of looking “fine” dressed as a clown, Fanny (Frannie) now looks “the real thing.” SPEW

This is political correctness gone mad. The book has lost so much of its charm, and I’m sure Enid Blyton would be rolling in her grave. I’m sure there are other changes, if you know of any, please let me know so I can add them.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

In the spirit of hating on the direction photography is going…

Posted in art, culture, funny, humour, photography, photoshop, venting by tarantulatrash on March 12, 2010

I found an old blog I wrote, around 2 years back.

Please, when reading this, understand that I am aware that the application of photoshop can result in some magnificent art, and some artists, for example Bastien Biomechanical Artwork (B. in my blogroll, who I will blog about later on) use digital manipulation in an incredible way. I just get quite frustrated with its overuse and the reliance that people now have on it, particularly when it is used to make their images LOOK like they were taken with film. It is one thing to make photography and image manipulation very accessible to everyone, but photoshop can really taking the artistry out of photography.


“I’ll be an artist yet”

I am yet to understand why people seem intent on ruining photography.

I went to a photographic exhibition a while back, paid my $2 donation at the door, and ended up walking out after 10 minutes in pure awe. not awe, as in “zomg what amazing work, I am truly inspired to better my own” awe. Awe, as in “wtf? I don’t even know what day it is anymore.”

The majority of photos in the exhibition were well taken, with great lighting, subject matter and composition. I was quite impressed with one of the featured photographers, a man called Bradley King- gorgeous black and whites of candid moments and beautiful macro shots with amazing vibrant colours. His photos, although edited digitally, seemed untouched- as though you were looking through the lens yourself at the moment he had captured. Beautiful photography.

The remainder of the work had the potential to be what I would consider “aesthetically pleasing”. That was until the photographer decided they would “move with technology”. They bought Adobe Photoshop CS4 for a cool $800 at Harvey Norman, took a night course, and learnt how to make their photos look like a three year old scribbled on it with a metallic pen, and then threw up on it. I have taken the liberty of taking these steps myself, somewhat-

-downloading photoshop for a cool $0

-playing with it for half an hour

-ruining a perfectly good photo

and I have included a demonstration of how you, too, can become an exhibited digital photographer.

It is as easy as that!! my photo went from this-

to this!!! IN TWO EASY STEPS!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna be rich.