tarantulatrash

Where is Dick? Dick is Rick.

Posted in culture, humour, life, literature, Uncategorized, venting, writing by tarantulatrash on March 31, 2010

Today I bought my little sister her own copies of the “The Faraway Tree” series by Enid Blyton. Tonight, we sat down and she read me the first two chapters. I WAS SHOCKED AND APPALLED.

Not at my sister’s reading ability, or the actual story, but the names of the characters have been changed!!! MY BELOVED DICK AND FANNY NO LONGER EXIST!!!!

These are changes I am aware of-

  • “Dick” has now been replaced with “Rick”  (Due to the obvious slang association).
  • “Fanny” is now “Frannie”. Dear God. We all know why this is.
  • “Jo” is now “Joe”- because apparently Jo is a girl’s name now.
  • “Bessie” is now “Beth”. That is just pointless.
  • “Dame Slap” – who used to use corporal punishment on naughty children is now “Dame Snap”, and she simply yells at people. I’m guessing this was to avoid promoting corporal punishment.
  • Instead of saying things like “Good gracious!” , “I say!” and “Why, it’s simply ENORMOUS!” Joe now just says “Wow” a lot. That makes me want to kill myself.
  • Mother packs the children doughnuts in the new version. In the old version, they got sandwiches, chocolate cake and apples, and it’s quite likely that doughnuts didn’t even exist.
  • Instead of looking “fine” dressed as a clown, Fanny (Frannie) now looks “the real thing.” SPEW

This is political correctness gone mad. The book has lost so much of its charm, and I’m sure Enid Blyton would be rolling in her grave. I’m sure there are other changes, if you know of any, please let me know so I can add them.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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2 Responses

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  1. trevor mill said, on March 31, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    After all that talk with the ‘Patriot’ this made me giggle.

    As you know Golliwogs were big in Enid’s best selling work
    they got turned into evil Pixies (which reminded me of the frightening Chuckle Bros.).
    More disturbingly Big Ears was sidelined in the Nodsters affections and Tessie bear was promoted as his special friend. So a kid can’t have a best friend who’s an old man? hmmm. Or was it that some people have… BIG EARS!! Ohhh this a minefield!

    I really did see a kids book called Spunky the Donkey.
    No-one else laughed at the time.

    tee hee.

    • tarantulatrash said, on March 31, 2010 at 10:09 pm

      Did Bigears and Noddy share a bed? I remember watching this on TV when I was a kid, it was amazing. It’s definitely not on anymore.

      I laughed at Spunky the Donkey. 🙂

      What do you think would happen if they altered the language of someone like Shakespeare to be more modern and accessible? Changing her words is an abomination.
      “Hey mah bitch Juliet, you’re fit, innit”


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